The following are some excellent articles written by Steve Maxwell regarding how the LORD put it on he and his wife Terri's heart to put the size of their family back in the LORD's hands. Mr. Maxwell's articles beautifully show the blessing it has been as they have trusted the LORD in the area of family size. He tells how the LORD has been their provider and how they have learned to trust HIS plan in all things. The third article addresses the deception that has entered Christian circles in regards to children. I highly recommend these 3 articles. Thanks to Terri Maxwell for sharing these with me when I began praying on this issue!
We've reversed a bad decision by Steve Maxwell
The greatest earthly gift by Steve Maxwell
Protecting against deception by Steve Maxwell
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Be Fruitful & Multiply: What the Bible Says About Having Children By Nancy Campbell |
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
As a Christian do you support life?
I have been reading "Lies Women Believe" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. She so boldly put together the following words (from pg 169 of her book) that I'm sure has satan and feminists cringing:
"Abortion infanticide, and homosexuality are examples of life-destroying practices that have become widely tolerated throughout our culture. Bible-believing Christians are generally quick to refute such blatantly evil practices. However, the evangelical world- including many outspoken "pro-lifers"- has come to accept a number of philosophies and practices that are subtly "antichildren" and "antilife." One of the fundamental tenets of feminist ideology has always been the right of a woman to determine for herself if and when she will have children and how many children she will have... The Christian world has been unwittingly influenced by this way of thinking, leading to the legitimization and promotion of such practices as contraception, sterilization, and "family planning." As a result, unwittingly, millions of Christian women and couples have helped to further satan's attempts to limit human reproduction and thereby destroy life."
Quoting Mary Pride from her book "The Way Home":
"Family planning is the mother of abortion. A generation had to be indoctrinated in the ideal of planning children around personal convenience before abortion could become popular. We Christians raise an outcry against abortion today, and rightly so. But, the reason we have to fight those battles today is because we lost them thirty years ago. Once couples began to look upon children as creatures of their own making, who they could plan into their lives as they chose or not, all reverance for human life was lost..."
I challenge you to think on these things. As a Christian do you truly support life or have you unknowingly been influenced by the thinking of the world in regards to children?
Joanna
Friday, March 5, 2010
Our Quiverfull Story - Part 6, the reversal
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The ReversalWe had planned a trip to visit my husband's brother and his family at their home in Texas. The Lord planned it perfectly that we already had that trip planned when He put it on my husband's heart to get a reversal. For we live in Indiana and the Dr. my husband felt good about was in Arkansas - right along the way to his brother's house!
It was a blessed day. Right away walking into the waiting room at Dr. Stanton's office I could sense the presence of the Lord there. The walls were covered with plaques with scripture. He had my husband and I come in together and talk with him before the procedure. He wanted to make sure we were in agreement and hear our story of what had brought us to this decision. He is a godly man who does reversals at a very reduced cost. The Lord put it on his heart to do this as a ministry. He was a blessing. He made sure we understood what was to take place and spoke of how he was simply an instrument, it would be up to the Lord if He chose to give us more children. He prayed with us before I went out. The procedure went well. My husband would tell you it was more unpleasant than the original surgery though! That night we headed on to his brother's house, without them even knowing he was having this procedure done! (He did decide to tell them that night and it was a very special time to reflect on how the Lord had led both of us). That Sunday we went to their church with them and what did the Pastor speak on? He spoke on that God said for His children to be fruitful and multiply!!! You can't tell me that was coincidence. I felt the Lord was smiling on us.
The whole experience was so beautiful to me because I knew it was God ordained. I saw His hand in it all. I remember seeing my husband's entire abdomen black and blue from the bruising. My eyes filled with tears. I was full of admiration for my husband. He did this for the LORD! There is nothing more beautiful than a husband surrendered to whatever God asks of him. Within the weeks following the procedure I stood in awe of how the Lord took my husband from adamantly saying "The Lord must be gonna wipe me out and give you another husband because I am not getting a reversal!" to shortly after the procedure hearing him say "I figure we could fit 12 children in our house."
Naturally, I hoped I'd get pregnant right away. Well, in early May I realized I had been pregnant when I had a very early miscarriage. It was not upsetting though. I was in awe of the reality that I had conceived and so quickly! I felt like the Lord was saying to me "See, I put your husband back together! Now trust me for my timing."
At this time, to my knowledge, I am not yet pregnant. I don't doubt the Lord will fulfill His promise, in His perfect way, and in His perfect timing.
Another special thing is that our oldest daughter has been praying for a year that the Lord will give her another baby sister! Her prayers began before the reversal even occurred! Actually her request is twins! LOL! We do hope the wait won't be long as we want her to see for herself that God does hear and care about the desires of our heart. God is good. His plan is perfect.
Joanna
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Our Quiver-full Story - Part Five
A Crisis brings Surrenderance
In January of 2009. We had some serious financial set backs that nearly brought my husband to a nervous breakdown. We have various rental properties. In January my husband found out that the owner of the management company had stolen all the money from the rental accounts and then driven himself head on into a semi truck's path! Not only was this shocking but my husband did not find this out until a month after the incident had occurred so no rent had been collected from the rental homes the month after it had occurred either. It was a financial crisis to my husband. I knew he was not okay. I had never seen the look in his eyes that I saw. I remember him emailing me from work and saying he felt like he might be having a nervous breakdown. I was concerned and immediately emailed a dear friend (her and her husband led the small group we were and still are a part of) asking her to pray for Chris. She immediately called her husband who contacted all the men in our small group. I tell you the body of Christ is awesome! That night amidst near blizzard conditions ALL the men from our small group at church and the Pastor showed up at our home to pray with my husband! It was the church functioning the way it is meant to and it was beautiful. Amidst tears my husband shared with them what was going on. They all prayed and our Pastor shared Psalm 37 which so fittingly starts off with "Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will son die away. Trust in the Lord and do good..." The entire Psalms speaks of trusting in the Lord, refraining from anger, and how the Lord will deliver and provide.
It was thru this that my husband realized how much he had been trying to be in control of our finances and had not surrendered them to the Lord.
This financial crisis is what the Lord used to begin to bring about His promise to me! For in surrendering the finances my husband realized that the reason he had not wanted more children was due to financial concerns. He realized we had not prayed about what the Lord desired when he had the vasectomy. He began praying with me about getting a reversal!!! I still stand in awe of the way the Lord works. Just one month before my husband had said "The Lord must be gonna wipe me out and give you a new husband because I am not having a reversal!" The way the Lord works is so beautiful. It was extra special to me because this was one situation where I had allowed the Lord to bring about what He desired rather than pushing and manipulating my husband into doing what I thought he should do. God does it so much better than we wives can do it! During the week we prayed about it the Lord was so clear. He kept putting things before my husband about how children are a blessing from Him. After a week of praying about it together he felt confirmed that he needed put the issue of children back in the Lord's hand and he chose a Dr. and scheduled a reversal!! In March of 2009 we traveled to see Dr. Stanton in Arkansas.
Next post: Our Quiver-full story part 6 - The reversal
In January of 2009. We had some serious financial set backs that nearly brought my husband to a nervous breakdown. We have various rental properties. In January my husband found out that the owner of the management company had stolen all the money from the rental accounts and then driven himself head on into a semi truck's path! Not only was this shocking but my husband did not find this out until a month after the incident had occurred so no rent had been collected from the rental homes the month after it had occurred either. It was a financial crisis to my husband. I knew he was not okay. I had never seen the look in his eyes that I saw. I remember him emailing me from work and saying he felt like he might be having a nervous breakdown. I was concerned and immediately emailed a dear friend (her and her husband led the small group we were and still are a part of) asking her to pray for Chris. She immediately called her husband who contacted all the men in our small group. I tell you the body of Christ is awesome! That night amidst near blizzard conditions ALL the men from our small group at church and the Pastor showed up at our home to pray with my husband! It was the church functioning the way it is meant to and it was beautiful. Amidst tears my husband shared with them what was going on. They all prayed and our Pastor shared Psalm 37 which so fittingly starts off with "Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will son die away. Trust in the Lord and do good..." The entire Psalms speaks of trusting in the Lord, refraining from anger, and how the Lord will deliver and provide.
It was thru this that my husband realized how much he had been trying to be in control of our finances and had not surrendered them to the Lord.
This financial crisis is what the Lord used to begin to bring about His promise to me! For in surrendering the finances my husband realized that the reason he had not wanted more children was due to financial concerns. He realized we had not prayed about what the Lord desired when he had the vasectomy. He began praying with me about getting a reversal!!! I still stand in awe of the way the Lord works. Just one month before my husband had said "The Lord must be gonna wipe me out and give you a new husband because I am not having a reversal!" The way the Lord works is so beautiful. It was extra special to me because this was one situation where I had allowed the Lord to bring about what He desired rather than pushing and manipulating my husband into doing what I thought he should do. God does it so much better than we wives can do it! During the week we prayed about it the Lord was so clear. He kept putting things before my husband about how children are a blessing from Him. After a week of praying about it together he felt confirmed that he needed put the issue of children back in the Lord's hand and he chose a Dr. and scheduled a reversal!! In March of 2009 we traveled to see Dr. Stanton in Arkansas.
Next post: Our Quiver-full story part 6 - The reversal
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Our Quiver-Full Story - Part Four
God's Promise
One day in November I had a special time with God that I won't ever forget. I was thanking Him for the miracle He did in my marriage. I was talking aloud to Him of how I knew He had told me I had 6 months to get on the ball and that I realized the 6months had now ended. I was pleaing with Him that He would please see it fit to do whatever more in our lives He had desired to do. I spoke of how I had really felt that the "more" was more children but that maybe it was something different than I thought. I said that I knew that if He had desired to give us more children He could easily do it; whether that be allowing me to become pregnant in spite of the vasectomy OR even more to do a miracle in my husband's heart and give him the desire to get a reversal. I continued praying about these things. During that time the Lord spoke to me so clearly, repeating the following words to me twice. He said, "Because you praised My name when you had the miscarriage (see Our Quiver-full story part 1) I'm giving you that child now." I balled and sang once again as I had done so many years before "Praise the name of Jesus! He's my rock. He's my fortress. He's my deliverer. In Him will I trust!" I was exuberant. So, began my time of trusting God to fulfill His promise!
I didn't say anything about that day in early November to my husband until around Christmas. I remember sitting with him and my Mom at my parent's home. I told them that the Lord had given me the promise of another child. My husband's response was (this still makes me chuckle) "Well, then God must be gonna wipe me out and give you another husband because I am not having more children!" This response did not surprise me nor did it sway my confidence in what the Lord had promised me. I smile now every time I remember his response because I now know what the Lord did in his heart, like only He could, in the weeks after he spoke those words!
Next post: "Crisis brings Surrenderance"
One day in November I had a special time with God that I won't ever forget. I was thanking Him for the miracle He did in my marriage. I was talking aloud to Him of how I knew He had told me I had 6 months to get on the ball and that I realized the 6months had now ended. I was pleaing with Him that He would please see it fit to do whatever more in our lives He had desired to do. I spoke of how I had really felt that the "more" was more children but that maybe it was something different than I thought. I said that I knew that if He had desired to give us more children He could easily do it; whether that be allowing me to become pregnant in spite of the vasectomy OR even more to do a miracle in my husband's heart and give him the desire to get a reversal. I continued praying about these things. During that time the Lord spoke to me so clearly, repeating the following words to me twice. He said, "Because you praised My name when you had the miscarriage (see Our Quiver-full story part 1) I'm giving you that child now." I balled and sang once again as I had done so many years before "Praise the name of Jesus! He's my rock. He's my fortress. He's my deliverer. In Him will I trust!" I was exuberant. So, began my time of trusting God to fulfill His promise!
I didn't say anything about that day in early November to my husband until around Christmas. I remember sitting with him and my Mom at my parent's home. I told them that the Lord had given me the promise of another child. My husband's response was (this still makes me chuckle) "Well, then God must be gonna wipe me out and give you another husband because I am not having more children!" This response did not surprise me nor did it sway my confidence in what the Lord had promised me. I smile now every time I remember his response because I now know what the Lord did in his heart, like only He could, in the weeks after he spoke those words!
Next post: "Crisis brings Surrenderance"
Our Quiver-Full Story - Part Three
A marriage spiraling
I won't say I was a shining star during those 6 months. I know satan was determined that I not get on the ball. In October of 2008 I spiraled down. I had a lot of anger and unforgiveness towards my husband and began really lashing out. It's frightening how quickly we can spiral away from the things of the LORD when we allow ourselves to begin to believe satan's lies! The week of October 15th, 2008 my anger oozed out. I remember screaming at my husband so hatefully and telling him I didn't care if he never came back. Wow... I still remember that moment. I wish it had not occurred. You can't take back those things! (Guard your mouth, ladies!)
I went to my church small group that Friday night and when the women broke up into accountability time, separate from the men, the lady leading asked us for prayer requests. I knew I needed prayer! I said, "Please pray for my marriage!" and I started balling. I told them I had a lot of anger that I had allowed to build up over the years. I knew I was not seeing my husband through God's eyes and that satan was doing a number on me. I admitted how awfully I had lashed out in my anger and I knew I was not honoring God. I so respected how Donna, the leader of the group, responded. She didn't tell me to read this or that book, or to go to a counsellor. She simply said, "Write a letter to God about it."
That night my husband was out of town (which is very infrequent & I know was God's perfect timing) and so after I got my daughters to bed I started my letter to God. I began by confessing how much anger I had inside. I was not far into the letter at all when the Lord impressed on my heart the following;
He had wiped my slate clean when I asked Him to forgive me of my sins and live in my heart. I in turn needed to wipe my husband's slate clean!
Wow. I knew that was true. The Lord brought to mind the dry erase board we have for homeschooling. I quickly went and got it. I first wrote on a piece of paper all the things I was angry at my husband for. (You have to realize what it is that you are holding against someone in order to let it go. I learned through this experience what an important part of the forgiveness process that is) Then slowly one by one I wrote each one on the dry erase board one at a time. With each one I read it out loud and said "I forgive him for... and I erased it off the board. I then went on to the next one. This took a lot of time. I had 14 items on the list and some were harder to say than others. After doing this I asked the LORD to help me to truly let all those things go. That his slate would be wiped clean and that I would see my husband anew through the Lord's eyes.
The next morning when I awoke I knew the Lord had done a miracle in me. I remember seeing a framed photo of my husband and I on the kitchen counter. When I looked at it I truly saw a different man! I use to look at the picture and see a critical, mean person. Now I saw a loving man and all I saw was hurt in his eyes for the ways I had hatefully lashed out at him! I balled saying out loud "Lord, I love him sooo much!" That was one of the neatest moments. I knew the Lord had answered my prayer to help me see him anew. I suddenly began to see how much the Lord had been doing in my husband's heart; How much the things I had been seeing in him before were not accurate. I was seeing him previously through unforgiving, selfish eyes. I had always known I loved my husband but sadly I had not saw him as my friend for years. I now saw him as my very best friend!!
This all occurred literally just before the 6 months I earlier referred to had ended. God is faithful. satan's plan to destroy my marriage was defeated.
Thank you Jesus!!!! To this day this has not changed. My husband is my dearest friend and I treasure him. I respect him and admire the way he has come to a deeper level of surrender to the Lord in the past year (you'll hear more about in coming posts). He is a fun and loving man and a blessing to me and our 3 daughters.
Next post: God's promise
I won't say I was a shining star during those 6 months. I know satan was determined that I not get on the ball. In October of 2008 I spiraled down. I had a lot of anger and unforgiveness towards my husband and began really lashing out. It's frightening how quickly we can spiral away from the things of the LORD when we allow ourselves to begin to believe satan's lies! The week of October 15th, 2008 my anger oozed out. I remember screaming at my husband so hatefully and telling him I didn't care if he never came back. Wow... I still remember that moment. I wish it had not occurred. You can't take back those things! (Guard your mouth, ladies!)
I went to my church small group that Friday night and when the women broke up into accountability time, separate from the men, the lady leading asked us for prayer requests. I knew I needed prayer! I said, "Please pray for my marriage!" and I started balling. I told them I had a lot of anger that I had allowed to build up over the years. I knew I was not seeing my husband through God's eyes and that satan was doing a number on me. I admitted how awfully I had lashed out in my anger and I knew I was not honoring God. I so respected how Donna, the leader of the group, responded. She didn't tell me to read this or that book, or to go to a counsellor. She simply said, "Write a letter to God about it."
That night my husband was out of town (which is very infrequent & I know was God's perfect timing) and so after I got my daughters to bed I started my letter to God. I began by confessing how much anger I had inside. I was not far into the letter at all when the Lord impressed on my heart the following;
He had wiped my slate clean when I asked Him to forgive me of my sins and live in my heart. I in turn needed to wipe my husband's slate clean!
Wow. I knew that was true. The Lord brought to mind the dry erase board we have for homeschooling. I quickly went and got it. I first wrote on a piece of paper all the things I was angry at my husband for. (You have to realize what it is that you are holding against someone in order to let it go. I learned through this experience what an important part of the forgiveness process that is) Then slowly one by one I wrote each one on the dry erase board one at a time. With each one I read it out loud and said "I forgive him for... and I erased it off the board. I then went on to the next one. This took a lot of time. I had 14 items on the list and some were harder to say than others. After doing this I asked the LORD to help me to truly let all those things go. That his slate would be wiped clean and that I would see my husband anew through the Lord's eyes.
The next morning when I awoke I knew the Lord had done a miracle in me. I remember seeing a framed photo of my husband and I on the kitchen counter. When I looked at it I truly saw a different man! I use to look at the picture and see a critical, mean person. Now I saw a loving man and all I saw was hurt in his eyes for the ways I had hatefully lashed out at him! I balled saying out loud "Lord, I love him sooo much!" That was one of the neatest moments. I knew the Lord had answered my prayer to help me see him anew. I suddenly began to see how much the Lord had been doing in my husband's heart; How much the things I had been seeing in him before were not accurate. I was seeing him previously through unforgiving, selfish eyes. I had always known I loved my husband but sadly I had not saw him as my friend for years. I now saw him as my very best friend!!
This all occurred literally just before the 6 months I earlier referred to had ended. God is faithful. satan's plan to destroy my marriage was defeated.
Thank you Jesus!!!! To this day this has not changed. My husband is my dearest friend and I treasure him. I respect him and admire the way he has come to a deeper level of surrender to the Lord in the past year (you'll hear more about in coming posts). He is a fun and loving man and a blessing to me and our 3 daughters.
Next post: God's promise
Our Quiver-Full Story - Part Two
A Time of Unrest
After those 3 little girls we decided we were done; that our family was complete. The strange thing is how we, people who had clearly seen that God is fully in control of opening or closing a womb (NOT man), who also knew children were a great blessing, thought it was our choice to decide when we had enough children! Today I cannot grasp the fact that after what God had brought us through and taught us that we didn't look to God on this. My husband had the procedure done to prevent more children. I was okay with it at the time. I didn't have convictions against it. That's what you did when you got how many kids you wanted, right?
Well, a year later I became sad and began to struggle with what my purpose was. This lasted for quite some time. I had a feeling of unrest that I couldn't seem to fill. I realized later this began around the time I would have in the past been expecting another baby. I began to have a strong yearning for another child. When I saw large families that were open to however many children God desired to give them I had such admiration. I saw something so beautiful in it that I didn't even know how to explain. During that time God brought to mind a verse He had impressed upon my heart many years before when we were struggling to conceive:
Isaiah 54:2-4a "Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in desolate cities. "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated."
The Holy Spirit began to convict me. I began to felt great sorrow for the decision we had made for my husband to get a vasectomy. Upon remembering that passage that had been put on my heart so many years before I began to feel God had desired to give us more children and we had forfeited that blessing. In the Bible it says "Children are a blessing, a heritage from the Lord"; why did we think it was our choice to decide how many children was enough? Why would we want to turn away blessings? I cried out to God and asked Him to forgive us. I acknowledged that I knew HE was the one who had closed my womb and then opened it and asked for forgive us for not looking to Him in all things.
I knew God had forgiven me yet I felt confused. I continued to have such a strong yearning for more children and in May of 2008 I remember crying out to God saying "God, I don't understand! Why do I have this desire NOW after my husband had a vasectomy. Lord, I do believe you had more for us. Please don't let anything we have done get in the way of what you wanted for us! If you do not desire to give us more children then please take this yearning away from me."
The Holy Spirit clearly spoke to my heart that day and said "I do have more for you but you have got to get on the ball with what I have already given you!! You have 6 months go get on the ball!" Then, He repeated these same words to me. (For those who have not experienced the Holy Spirit responding in such a way I know you may not understand or believe this. This was the first time in my life I had so clearly heard such a direct response from my Lord.)
I took the 6 months to be literal and started praying that God would help me get on the ball!! I didn't want to miss out on what He had for us!
Next post: Our Quiver-full Story part 3 - A marriage spiralling
After those 3 little girls we decided we were done; that our family was complete. The strange thing is how we, people who had clearly seen that God is fully in control of opening or closing a womb (NOT man), who also knew children were a great blessing, thought it was our choice to decide when we had enough children! Today I cannot grasp the fact that after what God had brought us through and taught us that we didn't look to God on this. My husband had the procedure done to prevent more children. I was okay with it at the time. I didn't have convictions against it. That's what you did when you got how many kids you wanted, right?
Well, a year later I became sad and began to struggle with what my purpose was. This lasted for quite some time. I had a feeling of unrest that I couldn't seem to fill. I realized later this began around the time I would have in the past been expecting another baby. I began to have a strong yearning for another child. When I saw large families that were open to however many children God desired to give them I had such admiration. I saw something so beautiful in it that I didn't even know how to explain. During that time God brought to mind a verse He had impressed upon my heart many years before when we were struggling to conceive:
Isaiah 54:2-4a "Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in desolate cities. "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated."
The Holy Spirit began to convict me. I began to felt great sorrow for the decision we had made for my husband to get a vasectomy. Upon remembering that passage that had been put on my heart so many years before I began to feel God had desired to give us more children and we had forfeited that blessing. In the Bible it says "Children are a blessing, a heritage from the Lord"; why did we think it was our choice to decide how many children was enough? Why would we want to turn away blessings? I cried out to God and asked Him to forgive us. I acknowledged that I knew HE was the one who had closed my womb and then opened it and asked for forgive us for not looking to Him in all things.
I knew God had forgiven me yet I felt confused. I continued to have such a strong yearning for more children and in May of 2008 I remember crying out to God saying "God, I don't understand! Why do I have this desire NOW after my husband had a vasectomy. Lord, I do believe you had more for us. Please don't let anything we have done get in the way of what you wanted for us! If you do not desire to give us more children then please take this yearning away from me."
The Holy Spirit clearly spoke to my heart that day and said "I do have more for you but you have got to get on the ball with what I have already given you!! You have 6 months go get on the ball!" Then, He repeated these same words to me. (For those who have not experienced the Holy Spirit responding in such a way I know you may not understand or believe this. This was the first time in my life I had so clearly heard such a direct response from my Lord.)
I took the 6 months to be literal and started praying that God would help me get on the ball!! I didn't want to miss out on what He had for us!
Next post: Our Quiver-full Story part 3 - A marriage spiralling
Our Quiver-Full Story - Part One
Yes, I am one of those "quiver-full" people! Now this will be a big surprise to many who know me in person (not as much the blogger world) - The family & close friends, who know that about 4 years ago my husband had a vasectomy... and have never heard any different! This story has been awhile in the making and one we have kept pretty confidential. It is a story that I do not want to forget the details of and I believe it is worth sharing! So, it is now that I want to begin to share our quiverfull story. It will likely take many posts as I want to go back to many years ago to show how the Lord has brought us to where we are today.
Part One - A closed womb.
You would think I would have always been quiver-full minded. After all as a young child to a married adult my aspiration had always been to get married and be a Mommy! My husband and I married young and used birth control (with out any reservation) for 3 years while he finished College. Then, He felt ready and we began to try for children. I assumed we would conceive quickly. But, after 3 years of trying and buckets of tears shed, we still had not conceived. Through a couple different people God spoke to me and said "Joanna, can you be happy if I never do bless you with children?" Ughh. That was hard to hear but something I knew I had to do. I had to surrender what had become most important to me. I remember laying in bed one night crying and saying words to the affect of "God, whatever you want for my life - If that includes never blessing me with children I will accept that... I will choose to be happy and trust you... I've said the words... now Lord, help me to mean them." Those words were hard to say but my heart was flooded with peace once I said them! What I didn't know was the test that would come in response to "help me to mean them". Within a few weeks after I spoke those words of surrenderance we found out I was pregnant!! The joy and excitement was overflowing. Everyone was rejoicing with us. They knew the tears and struggle those 3years had been for me especially. However, one week after telling everyone I began to have a miscarriage. Many grieved for us. Many had known my strong desire to be a Mom and had cried out to God to answer my plea. God's grace swooped in and poured over me. I think others grieved much more than I did. I remember singing out "Praise the name of Jesus, He's my rock, He's my fortress, He's my deliverer. In HIM will I trust!" WHILE I was having the miscarriage. It was an amazing thing because I knew that peace was only possible because of the Holy Spirit. That day is not a sad memory for me but a special one! It confirmed what the Lord had done in my heart! God had brought me to that place of surrenderance; He tested and confirmed that I meant what I'd said! In response to that God then showered blessing on me. For what very quickly followed in the coming 4 years was three healthy pregnancies and the births of our 3 daughters! For those 3 years of tears God gave us 3 beautiful little girls! Those precious blessings are now 4, 6, and 8 years old!
Next post: Becoming Quiver-full ~ Our Story Part 2!
Part One - A closed womb.
You would think I would have always been quiver-full minded. After all as a young child to a married adult my aspiration had always been to get married and be a Mommy! My husband and I married young and used birth control (with out any reservation) for 3 years while he finished College. Then, He felt ready and we began to try for children. I assumed we would conceive quickly. But, after 3 years of trying and buckets of tears shed, we still had not conceived. Through a couple different people God spoke to me and said "Joanna, can you be happy if I never do bless you with children?" Ughh. That was hard to hear but something I knew I had to do. I had to surrender what had become most important to me. I remember laying in bed one night crying and saying words to the affect of "God, whatever you want for my life - If that includes never blessing me with children I will accept that... I will choose to be happy and trust you... I've said the words... now Lord, help me to mean them." Those words were hard to say but my heart was flooded with peace once I said them! What I didn't know was the test that would come in response to "help me to mean them". Within a few weeks after I spoke those words of surrenderance we found out I was pregnant!! The joy and excitement was overflowing. Everyone was rejoicing with us. They knew the tears and struggle those 3years had been for me especially. However, one week after telling everyone I began to have a miscarriage. Many grieved for us. Many had known my strong desire to be a Mom and had cried out to God to answer my plea. God's grace swooped in and poured over me. I think others grieved much more than I did. I remember singing out "Praise the name of Jesus, He's my rock, He's my fortress, He's my deliverer. In HIM will I trust!" WHILE I was having the miscarriage. It was an amazing thing because I knew that peace was only possible because of the Holy Spirit. That day is not a sad memory for me but a special one! It confirmed what the Lord had done in my heart! God had brought me to that place of surrenderance; He tested and confirmed that I meant what I'd said! In response to that God then showered blessing on me. For what very quickly followed in the coming 4 years was three healthy pregnancies and the births of our 3 daughters! For those 3 years of tears God gave us 3 beautiful little girls! Those precious blessings are now 4, 6, and 8 years old!
Next post: Becoming Quiver-full ~ Our Story Part 2!
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